Thursday December 20, 2018

Student Question: How would you break up with someone?

Answer: Break ups can be uncomfortable, painful, and fill us with a range of emotions. However, sometimes the most healthy step to take in a relationship is to part ways with your partner.

A helpful starting point is to first think through why you want to break up. Has the relationship become unhealthy due to issues surrounding control, manipulation, cheating, or pressure to cross boundaries? Or, have you and your partner drifted apart because of a difference in values, interests, and/or friend groups?

When the relationship has become unhealthy:

The most important thing is for you to be safe. Having a conversation in person with your partner about ending your relationship may not be in your best interest. You do not owe it to your former partner to keep communication lines open. If you need support, there is always help available through the Kids Help Phone hotline (1-800-668-6868).

When you’ve drifted apart:

Seek to have the conversation in person. Communicating why you want to break up with your partner in an honest, respectful, and sincere way may not make the situation less uncomfortable. It can, however, demonstrate your care for them. Be prepared for your partner to not feel the same way about breaking up and do your best to be empathetic to their feelings.

Respect is key to ending a relationship. For you that might mean a respectful conversation, but it could mean respectful space. If you’re unsure of your situation, consider reaching out for help.